It's Friday. Sex?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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