Sry I called you an 8
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
