My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
