Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
