Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
