you traded sex for a burrito?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
