This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
