We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
