If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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