She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
