end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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