Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
