there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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