Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Dick very happy bro
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
