So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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