He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
