She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
