Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
