this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
