Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
