Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
