so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
