Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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