i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
