you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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