I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
