god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Everyone says I win the strip club
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
