Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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