Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You ate ashes out of my bong
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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