girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i will never coherently bang her
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
