Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
