please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
