used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
