I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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