well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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