My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
