I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
