Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
