i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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