That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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