I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
