It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
