I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Who died my cat blue again?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
