I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
