I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
