Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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