WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
