I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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