In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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