my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
