dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
