Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
as a side note pls kill me
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